...I'm "that kid". You know the kid, you may have been one yourself...the kid that gets the teacher conferences that include the phrase, "she has so much potential -- if she would just apply herself..."
I'm that kid. And apparently I never did get around to applying myself because, as far as I can see, I've fallen incredibly short of my supposed "potential."
Don't get me wrong, if I went back in time, I don't think I'd have made many different choices. I love my kids, I love my husband...really, I love my life. It's just when you start looking up old friends and see where their lives have gone, you get a sense of where yours might have gone had you taken a different path.
I suspect most of this stems from my lack of a goal in my life. I mean, keeping the kids healthy and alive is a nice goal, but I suppose I'm looking for something more. At some point, the kids will be off on their own (I hope, anyway. Judging by my family, you never know). At the very least, they'll require less work. Even now I find myself trying to find ways to entertain myself and the youngest while the oldest is in school. I need purpose; purpose beyond making sure the kids are still breathing and I'm not in a corner rocking back and forth. I need to live up to my potential...
...now I just have to figure out how.
